Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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