What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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