Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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