this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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