i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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