Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
