The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
