I can tuck mytits in my pants
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
