just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
