just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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