The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
