And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
