apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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