You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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