even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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