He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
