There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
