i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
