Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
