dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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