I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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