I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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