we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
