the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
