I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I lost the right to judge tonight
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
