i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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