"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
