so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You may now shotgun with the bride
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
is it fun? or sober?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
