She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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