i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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