If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
