I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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