I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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