I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
