this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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