oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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