Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Sober January is a disaster.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
