he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
