I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
