youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
