I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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