he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
