No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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