Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She swung at the pinata with crutches
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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