Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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