God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
