i would punch a child for taco bell
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
