We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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