They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
