i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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